


30 Days of Ienzo Destia

by ChaoteToTheCore



Series: Ienzo Destia [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: 30 Days of Writing, Ableism, Amnesia, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Chatting & Messaging, Child Death, Destiny Islands (Kingdom Hearts), Gen, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden, Homesickness, Ienzo-centric (Kingdom Hearts), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Keyblade Graveyard (Kingdom Hearts), Mystery Character(s), Nonverbal Communication, Nonverbal Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Original Kingdom Hearts Characters, Songfic, Suffering, Yggdrasil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoteToTheCore/pseuds/ChaoteToTheCore
Summary: In anotherworlduniverse, Ienzo washes up with Kairi.
Relationships: Donald Duck & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo & Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo & Master of Masters (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo & Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts) & Original Character(s)
Series: Ienzo Destia [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609102
Comments: 16
Kudos: 10





	1. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 things that make Ienzo happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This universe has been sitting for about a year, so I'm starting with some challenges to get my gears turning again. This particular challenge can be found at https://sunglowandme.wordpress.com/2014/08/23/30-day-writing-challenge/. (The original source doesn't seem to be operating anymore.)
> 
> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts) & Original Character(s)] [Ienzo & Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts)] [Donald Duck & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Suffering]

Fishcakes

He's got bundles of them, wrapped in seaweed and wax paper, hidden away in his pockets. He'll snack on them before, during, and after anything. They always seem to be fresh, despite him not cooking for days at a time…

Shell Bracelet

The islands have no shortage of shells, and Kairi makes great use of that. There are strings hanging on her curtain rod, beauty after precious beauty. She's not the best knot-tier, though, so she's always making more bracelets. Ienzo's got his very first one hanging on his wrist. _The only luck charm guaranteed to always work._

Before the Storm

The winds are full and warm, and it's hard to breathe. It's not hard to grin in the face of gathering clouds, whirling with an outside intent. Gran's rocker hasn't stopped since early afternoon, and he knows she's waiting the same as him. There's a magnetic sense below the water, and something cutting in the air. The first drop, cold as ice, hits his face, and his heart could almost stop.

Salt-Water Taffy

There's a pile on his desk, but he knows he's got more somewhere. He thinks. He's sure. Maybe. He chews on a piece ( _mmm, orange_ ) while he thinks of where else he might have stashed them. He's emptied his bags, and the extra spaces in his bags. None in his marble bags either. He chews. ( _Oh, raspberry, nice._ ) His pile is looking smaller. He was certain he had more, though…

Pets

The sun is nice. Sleeping in the sun is better. Sleeping in the sun with a baby manticore curled on you is best. Fully grown manticores are a bit heavier. Ienzo should probably get Manta to curl up next to him instead. Hm. Maybe when Ienzo can move, he'll do that.

"Tricks"

Bit chilly, but not actually cold. He's got one hand in his pocket, and the other is rolling a coin. He should maybe go back inside. Class is starting… eventually. There are some kids hanging around, eyeing him for something. He flips the coin in the air. The kids seem interested. He flips the coin in the air. They wonder if there's another part to it. He flips the coin in the air. As they watch it come back down, he's not there anymore. The coin isn't either.

Tokens

A curved claw, feels like a lighter wood. Balsa?. Flaking paint left on one side. Would have been red and purple once. It's missing a chain right now, but he can shorten some of the others for the sake of this one. Later, though. It's too long to undo his braids just now. Maybe tomorrow morning? He plays with the alloy chicken head and plastic star hanging down his right. He'll remember it sometime.

Coffee

Up goes the cup, down goes the cup. The cup is empty. That's not good, for Ienzo or the cup. He still has things to do today. Three blinks later, and the cup is full again. He's not alive enough to tell if he did that or not yet. Well, he's pretty sure they're out of beans right now… Up goes the cup.

Competition

The duck seems angry. He doesn't feel angry, though, so Ienzo doesn't mind being next to him. _Donald,_ Sora called him. _Donald Duck._ They've only met for half an hour, but something's itching at the base of his spine. Well, he can figure that out later. Right now, there's only a second difference in their casting speed, and Ienzo needs to make that gap bigger before the Duck can catch up. 

Family

Kairi's reworked three of his braids already, but he's not allowed to look until she's done. He wonders what tokens Riku picked out to weave in them. He hopes Sora is done with his cookies soon. He's got fishcakes of his own to fry. Kairi is braiding his hair. Riku is sitting next to him. Sora is somewhere else. He's a bit cold, actually. He raises a hand to feel the tops of his braids. He's only not allowed to look. His hair is already braided. He can't feel Kairi behind him. Riku is sitting next to him. He's forgotten someone. Who? Riku is sitting next to him.

He looks at Riku. Riku is looking back at him, something pained on his face. "Just a little longer, I promise."

_He's cold._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently I cannot let my children live in peace.


	2. Never Forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You could get out of here, kid. If anyone could, it'd be you._
> 
> _Child, you could make a name of your own, go to University, perhaps?_
> 
> "Hey 'Zo, you ever think about leaving the islands?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Ienzo & Riku (Kingdom Hearts)] [Suffering] [Implied/Referenced Character Death] [Destiny Islands (Kingdom Hearts)]

Day 2: Something told that Ienzo never forgot.

_You could get out of here, kid. If anyone could, it'd be you._

What? He blinks. There's an off-color magpie watching from a bush.

_Child, you could make a name of your own, go to University, perhaps?_

Who? He shakes his head. His knees ache from crouching for so long, but he doesn't move.

"Hey 'Zo, you ever think about leaving the islands?"

Ienzo looked over to Riku, pulling his hands out of his pocket.

'What do you mean?'

"Well," he was staring out, somewhere beyond the horizon, "you and Kairi came from somewhere, right? There's no one else on the islands that look like you two."

"So." Riku turned back, facing Ienzo once more. "What if you could find that place? Leave here and see somewhere new?"

Something cold and awkward prickled the back of Ienzo's neck. Riku couldn't possibly know about other worlds at this point, but it didn't take much to think there must be greater landmasses here, even just at one point.

He rocked on his heels, leaning back to the cool headstone behind him.

There was something sharp in Riku's eyes, and Ienzo felt it familiar. _Too familiar._

Raising clammy hands, 'To visit. I like it with everyone here though.'

"What if we went with you?" That sharp edge smoked, something impatient lurked there.

'It's not like everyone could come with me.' He rubbed his palm across the bare skin of his right forearm. He wasn't supposed to wear his gloves all the time, but now they were off he felt brittle. He knew he looked it.

"Not everyone, but me? Kairi? Sora? What about us." If Riku practiced that glare, Ienzo was sure his eyes might turn into blazing coals. Did Riku mean to do that, though? He usually had more tact.

'Like I said. To visit. If you guys left, I'd be visiting you. I like it here.'

Silence, like a measure of ice water. Ienzo glances at the magpie. It tilts its head at him.

"Fine." Riku turned again, walking away to town, one hand raised in a goodbye. "I'll see later, then."

Ienzo narrowed his eyes after him. _What is he after?_

Breathe in. There's nothing he can do until Riku wants to talk about it. Breathe out. Pull your gloves back on, wave goodbye to an empty grave. Time to head back for the night.

Magpie hops over to its home, and nestles against cool stone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Riku is a Rude Ass Bitch.
> 
> I'm bringing ethnicity into play. People from World A appear different to those from World B, variance depending on how recently those worlds were separated in the history tree of "Whatever happened to the first world." It's enough to be noticeable and lead people to realize Ienzo and Kairi couldn't have come from the Islands.
> 
> Ienzo is like 3 years older than the trio, which means that the last time someone tried to leave the world was a bit less memorable to them. Mostly cause the adults weren't talking about it around them. Since Ienzo was friends with the person who tried, and additionally one of a handful of people in the world that is aware of the current state of affairs, he knows quite a bit more.
> 
> Can you guess who he remembered talking?


	3. Peeved Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boi gets peeved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts) & Original Characters] [Suffering] [Ableism]

"Al _right_ , what we watching, guys?"  
"Oh! Steel Dude 2!"  
"What? No! We watched that last time! Buff Texans or bust!"  
'Indris Ja-'  
"Texans is like, 20 years ago, though!"  
"Steel Dude 2 is older!"  
'How about In-'  
"Steel continues to have the best graphics!"  
'-dris Ja-'  
"Oh, come ON. Steel _never_ had good graphics."  
'-mie.'  
"And what about Texans?! It's just buff guys beating up each other!"  
"Like that's not the plot of Steel?!"  
"NO! It's NOT!"  
'…'

Ienzo has obtained >> HEADACHE.

* * *

"And what are you kids having today?~"  
"Um, I'll have a, uh, double-cheese?"  
"Oh, make that two!"  
"Can I have the large sweet chili fries?"  
*is pointing to fish sandwich*  
"Okay, and what would your other friend like?~"  
*tapping on fish sandwich*  
"Um, I think he wants the fish sandwich."  
"Uhuh, would any of you like the Hot Apples Special today?~"  
"Oh, yes, for me!"  
*nodding yes*  
"Yeah, for me too please."  
"Alright, two orders of the Special.~"  
"Oh, no that was three."  
"Hm?~ Alright.~"

Ienzo has sworn >> VENGEANCE.

* * *

"Oh, Ienzo, you're becoming such a handsome young man! How was your book club?"  
*scritch scritch*  
"Oh, my! I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR P RO B L E M. I'M SORRY. ARE THE NEW KIDS PLAYING NICE WITH YOU, D E A R?"  
*scratch scritch*  
"AND HOW ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER? I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN S O L O N G!"  
_For good reason._ *scritch shcrash*  
"OH, THAT'S TOO B A D! WELL, IT WAS A NICE TALK. BE S E E I N G YOU!"  
*power walk away, away, away*  
"Oh, yes, he's such a nice~ boy, isn't he?"

Ienzo has lost >> 20 hp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so fucking tired yesterday. I'll maybe get Day 4 up later.
> 
> Busybodies never seem to run out of HP, themselves…


	4. Inspiration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clefChef🎶:  
> <{hey ho}>  
> <{u up?}>
> 
> 👍👍PANic🆘:  
> <{bitch i might be}>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts) & Original Characters] [Suffering] [Implied/Referenced Character Death] [Destiny Islands (Kingdom Hearts)] [Chatting & Messaging]

*BZZZT*

*BZZZT*

*BZZ-

clefChef🎶:  
<{hey ho}>  
<{u up?}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{bitch i might be}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{why}>  
<{wyd}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{its 330}>  
<{hell u askin}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{your upset right?}>  
<{is it bc jima?}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{...}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{hell u askin}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{i heard the kids}>  
<{that one seemed upset you wouldnt go with}>  
<{you still down?}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{hey?}>  
<{zo im coming over}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{where are you}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{my house?}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{no yur not}>  
<{where are you}>

*8 new messages*

*view?*

*y/n*

*yes*

clefChef🎶:  
<{zo where are you}>  
<{zo}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{answer yur phone dammit}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{where are you}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{i will find you}>  
<{i will bust your ass}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{kairi will bust your ass}>  
<{the hell are you>}

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{hell u askin}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{get your ass over here}>  
<{its been a day}>  
<{kids are stupid}>  
<{they grow out of it}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{not always}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{no shit}>  
<{quit brooding for like}>  
<{ten minutes}>  
<{get home so we can watch you}>

clefChef🎶:  
<{do u even know where u are?}>  
<{u know how to get home from there, right?}>

👍👍PANic🆘:  
<{ (・・。)ゞ }>

clefChef🎶:  
<{ur kidding me}>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this thing got... way out of control for how short it is.  
> its ended up being zo having a text convo w/ his now closest friend a couple years after his other friend kicked it. imma have to add more later to clarify.


	5. To Go (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Places he has been, places he will be once more.
> 
> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Master of Masters (Kingdom Hearts)] [Ienzo & Master of Masters (Kingdom Hearts)] [Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden] [Keyblade Graveyard (Kingdom Hearts)] [Destiny Islands (Kingdom Hearts)] [Yggdrasil]

_There are stone buildings around me. The air is dry, but the ground is wet. The sun is in 3:00 position. It feels strange. There are no clouds._

Should there be clouds?

_No. This sky has cried enough. Gold eyes look out from the darkness that is not there. There is a cracked fountain, in front of a house too big to be a home. It's surrounded by paved stones, but there's a tree there too._

By the fountain?

_In the fountain. No… it IS the fountain. It's lost all its leaves, but they were red. They're gone now. They've been gone for centuries._

Where did they go?

_They… they've gone to many places… and fed the roots of many trees. The flowers that grew around it have since starved._

* * *

Stars. Pieces of burning gas, or shards of souls. Maybe both.

Like this, sand all around and the stars so clear and thousands of hearts surrounding him, he could pretend to be on the islands, on those nights when everyone sits out together.

So near, so distant. Horribly familiar, and he dare not turn to look, to see them laying empty. Staring at the same sky, or worse _staring at him._ Gazing at stars at once infantile and ancient. A bitter tremor runs through him.

Who would ask for this?

He ignores the traitorous heart who tells him: _You. You would._

His back is ramrod-straight, he only looks up. He could be stuck in the sand himself, for all he can move right now.

Someone else was here, he thinks, he knows. They held him gently, fearfully, hoping for an answer to what they couldn't ask. They went here time and again, the two of them. Never soon enough to prevent tragedy. Always just in time to offer empty prayers, meaningless wishes.

Surrounded by ghosts, but the most important is a secret to himself.

* * *

In past, mythical centuries when tourists were a regular occurrence, they flocked to the beaches. To gentle shorelines, and picturesque waves. The shacks are still selling from the now-ancient stock of postcards: to art students and in-landers and children who want to cover their walls and ceilings in fading moments, captured by people not around to collect the royalties anymore.

_Islanders have always seen their own off from the vantage of rocky cliffs._

Years ago, Ienzo washed up on those picturesque shores. Some quick work, and search crews found another, smaller child. In the weeks that followed, they would collect a town of rubbish from those summery beaches. Evidence, the first in at least a hundred years, that there was somewhere else.

Evidence, of tragedy.

Looking down from the Northern Watcher's Cliffs, Ienzo can see torn cloth clinging to rock spires, warped boards battering their way around. It's not the same that washed up with him and Kairi. The eddies and currents around Watcher Saint are always pulling in lost sails and torn nets. Every month a couple coasters clamber between the towering rocks and pick out the salvage.

There's no such thing as unsalvageable when resources are limited.

His legs swinging gently over the edge, Ienzo wonders how many more bodies washed ashore that night. How many were lulled that night, and never woke to find themselves somewhere else.

* * *

Yggdrasil.

The tree of existence, upon which nine realms are built.

It is… bright. The twigs are wider than he is tall, and the branches could hold cities. Maybe some of them do. Burnt leaves fall off as they become ash, and green buds appear where they used to grow. The moss is iridescent, surrounded by encroaching darkness.

From a branch far above, there are faintly glowing, rustling cocoons. _Pale blue, wingspan as vast as an empty world,_ something croons from two steps to the left and back. _Milky eyes that see more than what you admit to be._

A low, deep sound fills the air.

It recedes, the cocoons shifting only slightly

Every step forward is a step closer to an answer he may not want, and certainly didn't set out for. _Maybe it's a step going away,_ comes the hopeful nudge. 

That sound again, like a horn, filling the vast space with a sense of mourning.

It sounds a lot like it's coming from where he's heading to.

Dammit.

Ienzo thinks he's found his ghost.

* * *

"How are you here?"

The figure ~~person?~~ didn't sound surprised. More, politely curious, with an odd lilt. Its long fingers were swift despite its thick leather coverings as it gently wrapped a pair of gouged hands.

The child ~~boy?~~ flexed his fingers, shifting where he sat on the (surprisingly comfortable) wooden bench. Was it good or bad that he couldn't feel anything from his elbow down anymore?

Sitting in front of him, on another bench that looked like it should be dust by now, the hooded figure tilted its head. "Ah, you are not feeling verbal, yes? I have a tool in here that may be of use?"

The warm light from above flickered, and the cool glow from the marbled floor grew stronger.

The boy blinked and lifted his stacked hands to tap fingertips on lips before letting them fall flat towards the person, relaxing his shoulders.

The figure's shoulders lifted and pulled inward, and the boy was sure it was smiling. "Let me grab that, then," and as it stood, it had to carefully move its head so it would not brush against the vines too hard.

One of the glowing amber fruits dimmed as the figure moved past it, and grew brighter when it had passed.

The figure had left a basket next to the boy, filled with round fruits that did not dim, although the layer dust said they must have been picked some time ago. They were not amber, but instead the violets and blues and greens of the moving stars and lights the boy could see through the old window.

A layer of dust settled on the boy's knees.

He kept watching the stars dance.

~~His arms ached.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *scoops something sludgy and grey into your bowl*
> 
> nourishment for you
> 
> *scoops something sludgy and grey into your bowl*
> 
> nourishment for you
> 
> *scoops something sludgy and grey into your bowl*
> 
> nourishment for yo-


	6. Heart Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 ways to win a heart? More like, 5 ways to make my boy suffer! Pain, baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's one for my darlings, you know who you are.
> 
> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Original Kingdom Hearts Characters] [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts) & Original Character(s)] [Suffering] [Amnesia] [Homesickness] [Character Turned Into a Ghost] [Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden]

They had to be here. He'd followed their trail from worlds to the next. He'd sent his offerings to the wayfaring sentinels. He'd done everything he could.

He'd paid his dues.

It's only fair that he catch a lucky break, only reasonable that the blood and dust of his hands should bear fruit. That the stinging of his eyes should water some kind of victory.

He'd paid his dues.

The shaking breath in his lungs could stale. The blood under his nails could rust him away. The life in his eyes could fade as offering. He would sever every braid from his head, offer every strand of muscle.

He'd paid his dues.

He sank to the ground, at path's end. Stale breath bubbling, tears pouring out. Salt of the earth stinging his palms.

He'd paid his dues.

* * *

Of all the things he'd done since leaving home, stewing bulk was probably the most ordinary. The cauldron here was only a bit smaller than Gran's, even.

It was about as quiet as at home, too, now that almost everyone else had moved outside. Cid was peeling tubers right across from him, and he was only a bit faster than Gran doing the same. Aerith was rocking near the open door, thumbing her way through the accounting.

Something was squeezing at his heart, and he had an uncomfortable idea of what it was, but they were not dealing with that right now, thanks very much.

The potatoes and carrots bobbed as he tossed them in the water, the air turning warm and salty. Maybe too much salt? It was starting to sting his eyes.

The rocker creaked steadily, in the way old rockers do.

It smelled like salt, but not the sea.

* * *

~~"Call me Jima."~~

"My name's Jim ~~a~~!"

Dark hair, darker eyes. Teeth like pearls buried in sand. A tombstone in granite grey.

Ienzo had filled maybe three notepads with doodles and confessions. Definitely only three. He certainly wasn't leaving out an uncomfortable number of torn out papers, ruined homework, and ratty notebooks. Because those didn't exist. You wouldn't be able to find them anywhere.

Dark hair, lava eyes. Sharp teeth like pale obsidian. A silver tiara adorned in coral.

Zo had the uncomfortable suspicion that he, _maybe_ , had a type. Word of this was to never reach Kili, or Ienzo might as well never go back home. Blind he may be, Kili was not deaf, and he would hear what Ienzo heard, and then he would hear Ienzo. And he would _laugh_.

Zo did not need the shame on top of everything else. On top of…

Right, so first he needed to leave this world, right now, and then he could figure out the rest.

* * *

Fine, Ienzo would admit it. He'd been very lucky with every world he'd been to prior.

They'd all been reasonable places, as long as you had the right reasoning to navigate it. Cheshire especially made an absolute amount of sense, provided you were deprived of sleep beforehand (and Ienzo was certainly that).

That was not the case of this world. Or, rather, that was not the problem with this world.

No. The problem here, was that this world was _so. Goddamn. Loud._

Not loud like the ocean crashing on cliffsides. Or like a lighthouse's foghorn blowing against the fog. Or like a town bell interrupting the best nap in years. Or like _any number_ of actual, justifiable things.

No, this world was not loud like that. But, as he bounced his knee, glancing at the other passengers of the noisiest hell-train ever, he already knew. 

Their home was not loud like his home was, either.

It sounded profound, but didn't really help.

He flinched at the next, searing whistle.

* * *

Aaah, his head hurt. And his jaw was so stiff… 

Exactly which rager had he fallen into last night? He didn't feel hungover enough to not remember, but… it was like fishing for goldfish, but the scoop didn't have a net. The murmuring background didn't help.

At least the floor was nice and cold.

… That might be a concern. Later. When there wasn't a headache involved.

Cold shot through his gut, and he scrambled up gasping. Some red-haired kid had… walked through him? Or something? They were looking at him, shock on their face, but.

He scooted to the side. Their gaze didn't follow.

 _Through_ him, then. That wasn't supposed to happen, right?

He was breathing faster, and he held his hands over his mouth, _hah, as if that would help you._

_You're already lost, kid._

He really wished he had some sleeves to clutch, because now he was just clawing at bare skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote the middle one bc I wanted to introduce not-Jima for crush angst, but then I had to rewrite _that_ bc I accidentally put in a little too much sugar, and I can't have that in this chapter, I refuse to.
> 
> Nothing like good ol' mortification, though.


	7. Vibe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 songs that Vibe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all get storyboarding notes for my fav two, and basic vibes for the other eight bc i am t i r e d, and also i want to be done with this one.
> 
> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Mystery Character(s)] [Songfic]

Children's Work [Dessa]

My father was a paper plane  
_[photograph of lil Zo and Ansem folded into a paper plane]_  
My mother was a windswept tree  
_[view of Yggdrasil from a lower-view, emphasizing the size]_  
My little brother's nearly twice my age  
_[Naminé style: Zo and a Boy in Black, holding hands]_  
He taught me how to meditate, I taught him how to read  
_[Naminé style: BiB is leaning against the bed, on the floor; Zo is on the bed reading a book aloud]_

I grew up with a book in my bed  
_[Kairi's hand is on top of the same book's cover]_  
I got these dark circles before I turned ten  
_[BiB is standing on the shore, staring at the night sky's horizon]_  
Heard my mother with her friends worry it was something she did  
_[back view of Ansem, shoulders hunched]_  
To get such a serious kid  
_[face view of Zo, face blank]_

But I've learned how to paint my face  
_[Zo painting the designs for his tattoos on himself]_  
How to earn my keep, how to clean my kill  
_[BiB leaning against a wall, foot up. hands off an envelope package]_  
Some nights I still can't sleep  
_[Zo is standing on the shore, staring at the night sky's horizon]_  
The past rolls back, I can see us still  
_[paper plane picture of Zo and Ansem is partially unfolded]_

You've learned how to hold your own  
_[a flickering light on the ceiling]_  
How to stack your stones  
_[view of many stacks of books, piled on tables and floor]_  
But the history's thick  
_[BiB is reading a heavy book, tapping the desk]_  
Children aren't as simple as we'd like to think  
_[focus more on tapping]_

Before you came along I was a lone cub  
_[BiB striding with purpose]_  
Fell in love with language, tried to tell the grown-ups  
_[BiB sitting on a roof, Lady Ava and Lord Ansem standing behind him]_  
About the storm clouds, the weather in my head  
_[Close up on BiB's eyes, with stormy cloud detailing]_  
Hadn't heard the word for melancholy yet  
_[BiB as a young man, pictured as the hanged man of tarot]_

Then you came in five years behind  
_[YMiB startled, looking at someone]_  
We thought you couldn't talk, turns out you were just shy  
_[lil Zo, hiding behind Ansem's leg, grasping at the lab coat]_  
Mom said it was serious, Dad said you'd be fine  
_[Even and Ansem shadows arguing]_  
I thought you were the prophet of 1989  
_[YMiB leaning against the couch, Zo sitting on top, mimics the earlier Naminé style image]_

You were so tender we thought something was wrong with you  
_[Zo watching YMiB from a distance]_  
So patient we thought that you were deaf  
_[Ansem comes by and drops a hand on his shoulder, Zo looks at him]_  
You were so solemn, so tiny but so ancient  
_[Close up on Zo's eyes, with bright cloud detailing]_  
Mom took you to see doctors, you scared her half to death  
_[lil Zo, sitting in a kids library chair, folding paper into little books, shadow falling over from other side of table]_

And I made you a library  
_[YMiB is sitting in another kids chair, also folding paper into little books]_  
Of tiny books with spines two inches high  
_[they pass the books to each other and read them]_  
You didn't say too much, but your smile  
_[Shy, bright smile from Zo]_  
Taught me how to quiet down my mind  
_[YMiB hugging self, tightly, crying]_

But I've learned how to paint my face  
_[BiB thumbing some blood off his lower lip]_  
How to earn my keep, how to clean my kill  
_[YMiB in apprentice uniform]_  
Some nights I still can't sleep  
_[BiB is sitting on the shore, watching the setting moon]_  
The past rolls back, I can see us still  
_[the photograph unfolded further, there's another folded picture in it]_

You've learned how to hold your own  
_[BiB correcting Zo's stance for something]_  
How to stack your stones  
_[Zo reading to BiB]_  
But the history's thick  
_[a closed sketch book, blows open]_  
Children aren't as simple as we'd like to think  
_[Naminé style: YMiB and Zo holding hands]_

You slept in my bed  
_[Zo and BiB snuggling]_  
And if I kept quiet  
_[Zo and BiB are walking together]_  
I could hear all the voices in your head  
_[the earth shakes, close up on shocked faces]_

When the wagon tipped, I prayed over your body  
_[the world cracking apart, they lunge for each other…]_  
I asked God to take the damage out on me  
_[one of them is hurt, the other is cradling the first]_  
Ten years later, he finally gets the memo  
_[BiB sleeping in what may be a hospital bed, peaceful]_  
Sent it to accounting and knocked out my front teeth  
_[Zo gets punked by a heartless, startled]_

But you came to and took my hand  
_[BiB wakes up suddenly, confused]_  
And held my eyes, and  
_[split screen, showing left eye of BiB and right eye of Zo]_  
Me and you had a long walk home  
_[flickering between Zo (lil Zo, big Zo, different Zo) and BiB (BiB, YMiB, ghostly BiB) walking next to each other]_  
So we decided not to cry  
_[split screen, showing left eye of BiB and right eye of Zo, both are crying]_

Now we've got a grown-up love  
_[Zo and BiB narrowly missing each other]_  
And I know that's how it's supposed to be  
_[flickering between Zo (lil Zo, bigger Zo, different Zo) and BiB (BiB, YMiB, ghostly BiB) running next to each other]_  
Same old story, Mom gets Easters  
_[Zo exploring Yggdrasil]_  
Lets Dad have Christmas Eve  
_[BiB exploring Hollow Bastion]_

But I won't pretend I don't remember  
_[Zo and BiB, staring at each other through a mirror, unrecognizing]_  
How unusual we were  
_[Zo reading a book to YMiB]_  
The little mystic and his handler  
_[YMiB in a portrait, holding Zo up near his shoulder]_  
All some children do is work  
_[Zo working late into the night, rubs a hand to his eyes]_

But I've learned how to paint my face  
_[Zo shrugs on a jacket and slings on his satchel]_  
How to earn my keep, how to clean my kill  
_[cinches satchel, turns to walk out]_  
Some nights I still can't sleep  
_[Zo is sitting on the shore, watching the setting moon]_  
The past rolls back, I can see us still  
_[the folded picture is open, showing Zo and BiB posing a selfie together]_

* * *

The Real You [Three Days Grace]

I will never give up on you  
_[BiB's profile, dark]_  
I see the real you  
_[BiB's face, eyes are weird]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[closer up on eyes]_  
I do  
_[Zo's got a tired expression]_  
I will never give up on you  
_[Zo talking]_  
I see the real you  
_[Zo talking]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[Zo talking]_  
I do  
_[Zo talking]_

And I'll show you the road to follow  
_[Zo as blind justice, pointing the sword down the road, edges are kind of cracky]_  
I'll keep you safe till tomorrow  
_[Zo holding BiB during a nightmare]_  
I'll pull you away from sorrow  
_[Zo holding him tighter]_  
I see the real you  
_[Zo whispering it to him]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[Zo whispering it to him]_

If you're the one, to run, to run  
_[Zo shouting on battlefield]_  
I'll be the one, the one, you run to!  
_[Zo shouting on battlefield]_  
If you're the one, to run, to run  
_[Zo, bleeding out, still saying]_  
I'll be the one, the one, you run to!  
_[Zo, bleeding out, just saying]_

I will never give up on you  
_[BiB's profile, normal, but the edges of the screen are spider webby]_  
I see the real you  
_[BiB's face, eyes are normal, he smiling]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[closer up on eyes, on second look they're kind of weird here, too]_  
I do  
_[Zo's got scared expression, flashes to BiB's bad grin]_  
I will never give up on you  
_[BiB says so sweetly]_  
I see the real you  
_[BiB is getting on one knee]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[reaching one hand out to touch Zo's cheek where he is on the ground]_  
I do  
_[practically crooning]_

And it seems like I've known you forever  
_[now he's really crooning]_  
I'll keep you safe for one more night  
_[Zo is terrified rn]_  
Need you to know that it's all right  
_[BiB presses a bloody kiss to Zo's forehead]_  
I see the real you  
_[flashback to happier times, spiderweb cracks at the edges, where they smiling at each other like normal people, pressing fist bumps to each other]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[as Ienzo turns away for something, BiB stops smiling]_  
I do  
_[BiB's eyes are covered in cobweb cracks, Ienzo is totally covered in them. BiB's expression is unreadable]_

If you're the one, to run, to run  
_[Bloody BiB shocked face]_  
I'll be the one, the one, you run to!  
_[he looks down, Zo got 'em]_  
You're not the only lonely one  
_[split screen they both sayin]_  
I see the real you  
_[BiB sad, despondent face, glassy eyes]_  
Even if you don't I do  
_[BiB sad, despondent face, eyes close]_  
(I do, I do, I do)  
_[cradling each other, shared puddle of blood beneath them growing]_

* * *

Reaper Man [Mother Mother]  
Vibe: Zo being a big ol' mess.

* * *

Atlantic [Keane]  
Vibe: Zo walking around in one of those old houses where there's bedsheets hanging off everything, and a layer of dust on top of those. Spend hours watching the dust motes in front of the windows.

* * *

Head Is Not My Home [MS MR]  
Vibe: Zo on the road. The vivid reality of now, and the echoing existence of past loves.

* * *

See You Again [Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth)]  
Vibe: Zo, who is going to take a six-pack to Jima's grave when this thing is over.

* * *

EVIL [AViVA]  
Vibe: Dark, Boy In Black to Luxu the Possessor.

* * *

Not Alone [Abstract (feat. Roze)]  
Vibe: Zo, heading out and heading home.

* * *

Summertime Sadness [Sea Flap Flap]  
Vibe: Sad Zo, fresh love with… "Jim."

* * *

Coma [Ash Graves]  
Vibe: Zo, depression vibing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like I only make progress on this when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
> 
> *slaps cold cloth over my eyes* Anyways. *flashes peace sign* *sinks into the ground like a ship in the sea*


	8. Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are a corpse. ~~Just sleeping.~~
> 
> He hates these jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in other news, i'm really feeling that halloween spirit today
> 
> Relevant Tags: [Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)] [Suffering] [Implied/Referenced Character Death] [Child Death] [Graphic Description of Corpses]

The radio was tuned to… something. Local. The crisp leaf-like sensation was very different from the smooth, flowing salt Zo was used to, but these things happen.

Happen like the ~~sleeping, could be sleeping~~ body curled into a moonlit lump of stained clothes, downy wings, and dark-streaked flesh. He fists at his puffy sleeves, pulling them further down as a bitter wind pushes against him. His boots crunch the river gravel as he steps off the bike and shuffles forward to the figure laying on the wooden park bench. He hates these jobs.

A song ends, a song begins. It's got a different kind of pulse, but Zo can't hear the words.

The ~~child~~ body has… _had_ red hair, feathers to match. Their outer eyelids and mouth are open, but not wide. Zo kneels and shines a penlight on their face and the light catches on their inner membrane… Dark grey irises. Dark veins in the sclera, no thicker than hairs. Pupils that don't dilate.

He feels sick. He sighs so he won't vomit and pulls out the folded printout, handed to him by Jonah just earlier that day, while they shared a sandwich over coffee. A red-haired child with a bright, gap-toothed smile. Dark grey eyes sparkle mid-giggle. His neatly groomed wings are open, on display. His skin and eyes are free of inky veins. His clothes are clean. He is cared for.

They are a corpse. ~~Just sleeping.~~

Their little sister had developed a cough. She was in quarantine now, with most of her friends. She wanted to know when her 'best biggest brother' would come back. The parents had disappeared a week after reporting the disappearance of their little angel. There was a kid still in the middle, her family dying all around her.

She was in another, separate, quarantine. Not sick, not yet. Even could she leave, she wouldn't be allowed back home.

A song ends, a song begins.

He rocks back on his heels, and the light still dangling in his fingers shines on dusty red feathers, strewn on the ground. It's not a molting season. He stands back up, shines the light from above on the wings… scratched and bloody. He angles the light from the slatted back of the bench, careful not to touch the body… more tears, less blood. Heart sinking, he checks their talons where one hand hangs loosely off the bench… no blood.

He swallows.

He pulls out his phone, shoots a text to Jonah, holding it as close to his chest as he can and still see the screen.

Typing… typing… he gets a check mark and a handgun emoji. He smiles, a wan thing, and steps near silently around the bench, walking between the body and whatever was hunting it from the dark of the trees.

He never shut off the bike, never shut off the radio. There's only a sudden punch of noise as he squeezes the gas and tears out of the lot.

A song ends, the tape clicks.

He hates these jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'something he struggles with' like child death, right? death of a child that looks like one of his kids, right? that's what it means?


End file.
